The Leader as Coach: Providing Safe and Effective Feedback

How Leaders Can Master the Art of Coaching with Feedback That Inspires Growth and Builds Trust in Teams.

In today’s high-stakes business world, the role of a leader is not just about managing performance but also about developing people. One of the most powerful ways to foster growth and improve organizational outcomes is by adopting a coaching mindset. However, the key to effective coaching lies in a skill that is often overlooked—providing feedback that is not only heard but embraced.

Having spent many years as a managing director, CEO, and now as a coach, I’ve witnessed firsthand how vital feedback is in shaping successful leaders and teams. However, there’s a fine line between offering constructive advice and unintentionally making someone feel criticized or defensive. In order to become a truly impactful coach, leaders need to understand how to give feedback that is both safe and productive.

The Pitfall: Feedback as Criticism

Many leaders face the challenge that, despite their best intentions, their feedback is often perceived as criticism, not support. This is because people have an innate ability to sense the true motives behind feedback. If employees feel that the feedback-giver has ulterior motives or is simply pushing an agenda, their defensive “bullshit” radar goes off. Unfortunately, feedback that feels disingenuous or self-serving is rarely well-received.

This disconnect is a significant barrier to creating a positive coaching dynamic. Employees need to feel that feedback is offered with their best interests in mind. So how can leaders avoid this pitfall and ensure their feedback fosters trust and growth?

The First Step: Check Your Intent

Before delivering feedback, the first step for any leader is to check their own intent. Ask yourself: What is my true purpose in giving this feedback? The intent should always be to help the individual grow, learn, and improve, not to criticize or manipulate.

If you feel anger, frustration, or even surprise in response to a situation, it’s important to pause before offering feedback. Knee-jerk reactions rarely lead to productive or well-received feedback. Instead, take the time to ensure that your feedback comes from a place of empathy and a genuine desire to help.

One-to-One Feedback: A Structured Approach

When providing one-on-one feedback, it’s crucial to follow a structured process that guides the conversation in a way that is both supportive and constructive. Here’s a framework that can be incredibly effective:

1. Praise their strengths: Start by acknowledging what the individual is already doing well. This sets a positive tone and reinforces the behaviors and actions that contribute to success. Be specific, and give examples of times when they’ve achieved positive results. This not only builds confidence but also shows the individual that you notice and appreciate their contributions.
2. Encourage more of what works: Next, provide suggestions on what they could benefit from doing more of. Whether it’s amplifying their strengths or building upon their capabilities, this encourages growth and fosters a culture of continuous improvement.
3. Highlight areas for improvement: Gently point out areas where they could benefit from doing less of certain behaviors. The key here is to be tactful—highlighting areas for improvement without making the individual feel inadequate. Focus on behaviors, not the person.
4. Suggest new actions: Finally, suggest something they should start doing that they haven’t yet considered. This might be a new habit, skill, or way of thinking that could benefit them personally or professionally. Also, point out things they should stop doing that are holding them back or are not contributing to their success.

This structured approach to feedback helps balance the conversation, allowing the individual to see both their strengths and areas for growth. It also takes into account the context in which the feedback is given—whether they are having a bad day, feeling under pressure, or simply having an off moment. This balance prevents feedback from feeling one-sided or overwhelming, encouraging a productive and open dialogue.

Courageous Conversations: Giving Feedback in Groups

While one-on-one feedback is critical, there’s also immense value in fostering a culture of peer-to-peer feedback within teams. When done correctly, feedback in group settings can help build trust, improve communication, and promote collaboration. But it’s important that these conversations are approached with courage and care.

In team settings, I encourage the concept of “courageous conversations.” These are feedback exchanges where each team member shares constructive insights about each other in a safe, open environment. The challenge here is for individuals to get out of their comfort zone and provide feedback that is both honest and helpful.

As the leader, you must set the tone and ensure the right conditions for these conversations to happen. One effective approach is to have team members pair up and give each other feedback using unfinished sentences. This prompts individuals to focus on the other person’s growth and development, making the feedback more targeted and actionable.

Examples of unfinished sentences include:

• Something I really respect about you is…
• Something I think that you could change that would help you is…
• Something you could change that would help me is…

These short, focused conversations allow team members to share feedback with each other quickly, creating a sense of mutual support and accountability. The key is to make these sessions short (3-5 minutes per person) but impactful, ensuring everyone has a chance to provide and receive feedback.

Conclusion: Safe and Honest Feedback for Growth

The power of feedback lies in its ability to shape behavior and foster growth. However, feedback must be given in a way that builds trust, promotes self-awareness, and inspires individuals to improve. By checking your intent, structuring one-on-one conversations, and fostering courageous conversations within teams, leaders can create an environment where feedback is seen as an opportunity for growth rather than as criticism.

Remember, coaching is about helping others reach their potential. When leaders master the art of giving safe, honest, and effective feedback, they can unlock the potential of individuals and teams, leading to sustained success for the entire organization.